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The Diary Files

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17/5/20

Penny Macoun
41
Sydney, NSW, 2070

Fear, the fear of the unknown is powerful.

As a vulnerable individual, I always dread getting sick, but I do not let that fear control what I do, until now.

During SARS in 2003 I flew to Hong Kong against medical advice. I stated “I would rather die having lived my life, rather than living a life not worth living.”

In the year 2020 a new much more hostile virus has taken hold on an unprepared world. COVID-19 has given me greater concern about continuing life as normal. A disease that is hidden but so easily spread can and does create a new level of fear.

The best cause of action to reduce the level of exposure is to stay home. While this action is beneficial for the individual and wider community in a pandemic, the necessity of isolation is a double edge sword.

“I would rather die having lived my life, rather than living a life not worth living.” Now seems a romantic dream, but one I hope to be able to return to soon. To have your freedom removed goes against all human rights generations fought to achieve; finding ways to live your life in a different way should be the 2020 focus.

Do I want to die from COVID-19? No. However, do I want to live a life that feels unfulfilled? No.

Fear will be overcome, isolation will be overcome but only when a balance can be found to maintain our normal lives of the past while we work to limit the COVID-19 spread.

I fear the balance will never be found. What I fear the most is that a vaccine may never be found and I will live a life unfulfilled. I truly hope there is a light at the end of this COVID-19 tunnel.